A letter to Lance

Our friend Lance has moved into a great facility in Atlanta, GA called the Shepherd Center. I write him emails through the center’s website that his family is kind enough to read to him. It’s a bit odd, to write letters knowing there won’t be a response for a long time, so this week I’ve decided to rhyme:

I’m pretty sure this is just one of my powers
I mean, let’s be honest,  I could rhyme for hours.
If I don’t impress you with all of my cunning,
You ought to know that I’ve begun running.
Sure my mile splits just ain’t what they once were,
But every step counts, as I’m sure you will concur.

I swear it could mist and this whole city flinches.
They called a snow day for less than two inches.
Admittedly, the roads are still pretty bad,
But compared to Iowa, this is just pathetic.
 (made you look?)

Some time in the past week I tweaked my right shoulder,
it’s now to the point I can’t lift a file folder.
I switched the mouse to the left hand and will use my RICE:
Rest, Elevation, Compression and Ice.
(If I lift my arm, the joint goes “pop-pop,”
it’s amusing, but painful, so I ought to stop)

Lebanon is in crisis, the government folded
But don’t worry: Clinton made sure they were properly scolded.
Tunisia’s in a panic, the whole country’s rioting,
though with a police-enforced curfew, perhaps it is quieting.

Here’s something lighter, to make you feel cheered,
in Belgium they are protesting by not shaving their beard!
As the current government should have been temporary,
all the men have been encouraged to grow themselves hairy!

There is more bad news, just as you were feeling better:
Australia is flooding, and keeps getting wetter.
When you ask about geography, and beg for no tricks,
It’s possible our continents will only number to six.
(Not really, my friend, just a bit of mirth.
But seriously, dude, don’t plan on traveling Perth.)

My work day is done, it’s time for some raw fish,
I am, as ever, your loyal friend Trish.

(As it would happen, almost nothing rhymes well with “sushi.”)

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