I was pleased as pie to receive the following email from Better World Books:
from:Better World Books firstname.lastname@example.org
date:Tue, Jul 19, 2011 at 4:30 PM
subject:Your order has been shipped!
(Your book(s) asked to write you a personal note – it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)
Holy canasta! It’s me… it’s me! I can’t believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over 2 million books but you picked me! I’ve got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can’t believe I’m leaving Mishawaka, Indiana already – the friendly people, the Hummer plant, the Linebacker Lounge – so many memories. I don’t have much time to say goodbye to everyone, but it’s time to see the world!
I can’t wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol’ brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?
I know the trip to meet you will be long and fraught with peril, but after the close calls I’ve had, I’m ready for anything (besides, some of my best friends are suspense novels). Just five months ago, I thought I was a goner. My owner was moving and couldn’t take me with her. I was sure I was landfill bait until I ended up in a Better World Books book drive bin. Thanks to your socially conscious book shopping, I’ve found a new home. Even better, your book buying dollars are helping kids read from Brazil to Botswana.
But hey, enough about me, I’ve been asked to brief you on a few things:
We sent your order to the following address:
(The street I live on)
Lexington, KY 40502
We provide quick shipping service to all our customers. You chose Standard shipping. It should arrive in 6 to 9 business days. Tracking is not available on these shipments. If you have any questions or concerns, please email my friends in Customer Care at email@example.com. If you could please include your order number, that would be very helpful.
Eagerly awaiting our meeting,
Looking forward to meeting you too, books.